Smile
by Von Uriken
Summary: A short series about real love. Quifuu - QuistisxFujin
1. Classroom Smiles

**A/N:** Originally a one-shot named for the first chapter, it was updated twice, and subsequently lost for nearly two years. I recently dug it up, edited it (With some help from Antlan87) for better grammar, and here you have it. Challenge on the third chapter. **~VLU**

* * *

This author does not own FFVIII. The characters and all are owned by Square.

* * *

It's odd how she treats me. The rest fear and hate me. To them, I am an embodiment of everything Seifer accomplished as a Sorceress' Knight; the attack on Balamb, capturing the city below, the entire war between Galbadia and Esthar. Though that last one would have happened without our help anyway.

The most I can do is shrug and bark at them as they pass and stare at me, it's not like I never expected this after all. I knew full well what I was getting into when I chose to join Balamb Garden again, when I decided to finish my training and education after the President pardoned me. It's harder than I thought, I'll admit that, with my brother settling down in some quiet fishing village, and Seifer serving his sentence in D-District. But I'm not totally alone.

She speaks to me. In the hallways as I pass, at lunch when she moves away from her own friends to sit in my lonely little corner. It's odd, but not unpleasant. I do enjoy her company, she was always the one person I looked up to besides Seifer during my original stay in Balamb. Reserved but resourceful, she easily passed everyone's expectations when she became the youngest instructor here, the youngest SeeD for that matter. She also proved to be kind, gentle, and caring. Which, I guess, would explain why she acts the way she does around me. See? Nothing special, she does this for everyone.

I can't honestly tell myself that though. I have to keep hoping that the subtle way she hides her blushes under the guise of shifting her glasses is reserved solely for me. Or that her childish giggle, and those dimples I had never even noticed before, are her way of flirting with me.

Everyone fantasizes about her, having her in some way or another. Though I can tell by her demeanor that she's never acted upon any of those fantasies. Me? I just want… I want to be around her I guess, and I want her to be around me. I want her to know me the way I'd like to know her. I'd like to see her whenever I'm feeling lonely, whenever I need someone who doesn't hate me, whenever I feel the sudden urge for someone to hold me.

Yes, the big bad beast needs a hug now and then, even if I managed to knee Raijin whenever he tried. I enjoyed it, but he didn't have to make such a spectacle of it every time. I bet she's so much softer than Raijin though, even if an Adamantoise is softer… I bet she would put my pillows to shame; skin like silk sheets, lips as delicate as rose petals.

Perhaps I should get her one? A rose, that is, not a pillow. No, I'd need to know without a doubt first. And my mind is full of nothing but doubts and fantasies.

Still, I had a test for her earlier today, and she passed with flying colors. It was during class, my second of the day, her third. She has a habit of glancing across the classroom after every question, she has a habit of searching for my gaze too, and holding it. Just a little thing I've noticed, seeing as how I stare at her every minute of her class. I do seem to lose track of time when she's around, don't I?

Anyway, today was no different. She sought out my gaze, and I met hers, that sharp ice-blue that sends shivers down my spine. She may think otherwise, but I caught the subtle widening of her eyes, the lump in her throat, an expression I had, until then, likened to fear. Perhaps she does fear me though.

And then, to test her, I pursed my lips and looked to my work, putting on my best frown. When I looked up again, she was back at her work, but her brows were scrunched, her own lips drawn into a tight frown. Until then, she had been perfectly happy. Did this mean something?

So, I moved onto the next stage of my test, waiting patiently, biding my time until her next question. It came up a bit later, something about Grats that I didn't quite catch, and there she went again. We locked eyes seconds later, my one holding hers again, only this time I smiled, and did my best to loosen my expression. It's not quite as easy as it sounds, when you've lived your entire life scowling, but I tried, and she rewarded me for it.

Her smiles are dazzling, with teeth or without. Her teeth are like the finest porcelain, and the contrast to her lips is so fine they can't help but stand out. And they are beautiful, almost perfect. I could die happy if I could have them for just one second. But today there were no teeth, just the dimples that made her look almost her age. They make her look so youthful, so… Cute. Yes, that's the perfect word, cute. Her eyes, even her skin, seems to shimmer when she smiles, but that may well be in my imagination.

But that was two out of two. She responded to my expression, my feelings, the same way I respond to hers. I may have never told this to anyone, not including the fact that I don't speak to people, but she does make my day. Her smiles get me through all the jeers and taunts anyone else can throw at me, and the days she's down can darken even the brightest of days. Yes, I know all about her depression, her tendency to take everything far to seriously, involved in it or not. The only reason I act like I'm trying in these courses I know by heart is for her. If anything, I need to give her that precious feeling of success, like saying that yes, you did turn my life around. Yes, you will make a proper girl out of me.

Hmm? What? Someone's at the door. No, I don't know who it is, I'll go check.

Oh my…

"Would you like to go get something to eat, Fujin?"

"Err… Um-"

"Well?"

"BE DELIGHTED… QUISTIS."

There's that smile again.


	2. Impulsive Actions

I never really thought I would be, never gave it much thought in the first place, but I was thrilled when she came back to finish her SeeD training. All that time, she was just the girl at the back of the class, or the powerful beast who faced down challenges worse than hell for a friend. When she came back, and I took a long hard look at her, I realized she was so much more.

Sure, she can be determined, or strict, or as much of the hard-ass butch as they say she is. I remember the day Instructor Aki put her in charge of her own squad, and they finished in half the time as the rest of the SeeDs running the course. But a single look from her can send me to places I didn't even know exist. I spent the better part of two weeks trying to decipher what she was feeling behind that beautiful wine-red eye. I never did come up with an answer.

Perhaps that's why I'm so infatuated, she's just so mysterious and alluring sometimes. That, and she can run a hand through her hair, and I'll get the urge to follow it so bad, just to feel if it's really as soft as it looks. I see her licking her lips when they get chapped, and I'd like so much to taste them.

But it's not all sexual, far from it, in fact. Most of the time I'm looking at her is when I'm in class, and all I can see is her eye through her hair. There's true intelligence behind her gaze, a mindful wit that most never care to understand. She sees more with her one eye than most see with two, and while I'm tripping over my own dress, she's moving and reacting with a grace more fluid than any dancer I've ever witnessed.

There's something else in that eye though, some inner contemplation, some inner struggle asking a question I'm still trying to figure out, to get an answer I may never understand. I guess that's a big part of the problem, I want to be near her, I want to be with her, but I don't understand the first thing about her. Even with access to her dossier, I still don't know what happened to her other eye, or what turned the fragile little girl who came to the orphanage into the antisocial woman who basically shouts every word she says. Can she help it? Is it something wrong with her throat, or perhaps something to do with the injury that took her eye? I've heard of things like that before, someone gets hit in the head and starts talking a complete different language. I just wish she would tell me.

I just… I feel like I need to know about her. Like all my questions are just eating me up inside. It's actually sort of like when I really feel that I need to finish or pass something, like my own SeeD or Instructor training. It wears and wears at me until eventually I just break down and give in. What does giving in mean for her though? Should I just go and try to talk to her some more? Or would she even like that?

I don't know, I don't have any experience in this sort of thing. When I was young- Okay, fine… When I was younger, I never had the time for a relationship. And Squall, bless his dense little heart, was nothing like this. Squall was the boy I looked too and thought; 'Hey, he's kind of cute,' or 'I think I like him.' When I first look at her, all the thoughts empty out of my head, and we're the only things that exist for those few precious moments. She's all I see, hear, smell, and think of, until I get my wits about me. And even then, she's always the first thing on my mind. Am I obsessed? Does that make me creepy?

No, I think I'm just… Well, I'm not willing to say that yet. Like I said, I've never had any experience in this, so for all I know it is just an infatuation, or perhaps a fleeting crush. Perhaps tomorrow I'll wake up and wonder what the hell, forgive the language, I was thinking right then.

Well, that's not true. It's been how long since she got back? Almost an entire semester, I guess, which means she'll be taking the final exam soon. A full-fledged SeeD, a dangerous life I know all to well. But if anyone can handle it, I know it's her. She fought against our entire team with just Raijin at her side, and nearly beat us down for it. Still- Where was I? Oh, right- An entire semester, and she's never let my mind be for a moment. Squall even noticed how preoccupied I was, he actually had the nerve to cut my classes in half.

I've got every Tuesday and Thursday off, every single week. You know what I do with the time? I go and hit the gym. No, not the administrative gym, I mean the big one on the lower decks with the targets on the one side, and the obstacle course on the other. The one Zell teaches his martial arts class in every Tuesday and Thursday, which just happens to be the two classes she never misses. She never misses a chance to put Zell to the mat, and I guess I never miss a chance to watch that.

Does that make me a pervert, like a voyeur or something? Don't answer that, I already know the question. The truth is that she does look good in her training clothes, that tight black T, and those pants just seem so much looser than her normal dress wear. And when she sweats… As a girl, or a woman, I'm supposed to feel disgusted by that, that's what everyone says. But… I don't know, maybe it's just any time she gets wet, or maybe it's how carnal she looks with her hair slicked back and that fire in her eyes. I love being around her then, she just looks, and even smells, so raw, so pure. Like that's the only time she's not hiding under a blue coat and dress pants. I want to know her when she's like that, not when she's hiding from society. I want to talk to her, touch her, taste her-

Okay, okay, sorry. A bit too personal there, I just figured since you are the counselor here-

Yeah, you're right. I'll try to keep those thoughts to myself. But yes, I do have those thoughts about her. I know since we're both women, it's supposed to be deemed as wrong. Like my other tendencies and… Fetishes, I guess. But I'm not a child anymore, I'm not some schoolgirl to giggle at all the latest gossip and pry into every place my nose doesn't belong. I'm a respectable young instructor, and what I do is my own business, not Administration's, not my student's, not even my friends. Did I say what I do? Perhaps I should have worded it who-

Right, sorry. Look at this, you've had me rambling her the last hour, and I still haven't said anything new.

Is there something new? Well, sort of. We had a class together today, every Wednesday you know, and she was sitting in her usual spot, but I could tell something was off about her the second she came in. She seemed more focused on the subject than normal. Usually she's just staring at me, or past me. I really hope it's the former, but I don't know about getting my hopes up… But today she was looking me straight in the eye every time I glanced at her. That eye just held me there, like she didn't want me to look away.

The next time I looked at her, she was looking away and frowning, like she was sad or angry about something. That bothered me for the next half-hour. I mean, what could she be so angry about? Well, I know how the other classmates treat her, I've personally had every one of my fans vow never to raise their voice to her, but she's always been so strong and independent. She's never let them get to her, and I'd like to think they've lost any power they had over her when she was younger.

Then I got to thinking, maybe it was something I did? Maybe it was something I didn't do? I was nervous and wracking my head over it almost all the way through my class, all the way up to the various cures for Grat poison. Then I found time to look over at her again, and she caught my eyes again. I held her gaze for a moment, and then she smiled at me. Literally smiled, almost showing teeth and everything. Did you know she has dimples? I mean, they're not exactly six-year-old girl-with-a-lisp dimples, but they're there.

I realized then that I had never seen her smile, not once, even when we were children down at the orphanage. And there she was, smiling at me. I felt so high through the rest of class. I guess that must be what men feel when they hear Siren's song, only that extra little beat to my heart hasn't left me yet, hasn't faded. I want to see her smile again, I want to see her smile so much that I could count every one of her teeth if I was so inclined. And I'll find a way, you'll see. They don't call me the Perfect SeeD for nothing.

Maybe dinner sometime. Now? I guess that might work, but I want to take her somewhere outside the Garden, somewhere we can have some privacy. Maybe someplace fancy, but that would need a reservation. Well, I'm sure I could get one. My fan club, as much as I hate using them, they're people too you know, has ties to everything I could ever want. One of them even got me an autograph from President Loire for Selphie's birthday, don't ask me how.

Yeah, I like that. No waiting, no time to chicken out. By Hyne, I can already feel myself getting lightheaded. If I had to wait around thinking about this I'd be halfway to Esthar by morning.

So, I'll do it. No chickening out. I just have to get the reservation, and that shouldn't take me more than… Half an hour, maybe?

What? Another call? Okay. Yes, I'll talk to you later. Thanks for listening. I'll tell you how it goes tomorrow, if it goes even. I'm not even sure if she'll say yes. Maybe I should just ask for dinner, not a date?

Okay. Goodbye, Matron.


	3. First Date

**A/N:** The third and final chapter I wrote, though (after the one-shot idea) it was originally supposed to be more. Now, I like this fic, I really do, and I don't know why I stopped writing it. But regardless, I'd like to see it finished. So, anyone who reads this far, please take it upon yourself to try and finish it, at least the date in Fujin's perspective. I may even add in a reward if there are some entries. All entries are should be posted on and the story title should be copied in a review for this. **~VLU**

* * *

Oh god… You know that feeling? When you look back on something you've done and you just have to slap yourself cause you were so stupid. No, I don't suppose you would. But I feel like a total idiot, I was so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Okay, okay. I'm calm now, see? Calm.

I guess I should start where we left off yesterday? Yep, I didn't chicken out. That was the one thing I can actually applaud. I finally worked up the nerve and asked her on a date. Well, I asked if she wanted to go and get some dinner, I never did mention the word date. I'd got us some reservations for this real nice restaurant in Timber. Rinoa never would shut up about the place, so I figured it had to be good. That was probably my first mistake, I mean she is, well… Let's just say that of all the times Balamb Garden has hosted a dance or some kind of ball, I've still never seen her out of that blue jacket of hers. Dressing up? Well she did put on her best pants. Not that I have anything against what she wears, even if it is a bit rigid.

I'm sure she says the same about my dresses anyway. So I had Selphie drop us off, and we caught a cab over to the restaurant. I was so terrible though, the whole way there. She just sat there looking all calm, maybe giving me an expression that said I pity you every once in a while, and I just couldn't calm down. I must have been shivering the entire way there. Not to mention it was awkward. I couldn't think of a single thing to say, but what should I have thought was going to happen? That she would keep the conversation flowing?

I don't know. The whole night and I still didn't learn a thing about her though. But she put up with me, and I guess that's saying something. Well, for the ride there at least.

When we did get there… Well, the restaurant, you've never heard of it? I'm not surprised really, they don't bother to advertise. If you don't already know about it, you probably can't get in. But it's extravagant, like, uber-posh. Three stories tall, single-table patios sticking out everywhere. The chandeliers alone cost more than Balamb's gym.

She just turned to me, and looked at me like are you serious? She balked, and I've never even had the chance to use that word before, but she openly balked at me, like I was crazy. I felt so stupid right then. I mean, of course she wouldn't want to go somewhere like this, she'd probably rather go find a bar or something. I just wanted to impress her so much… I sure did screw that one up. But at least I worked up the courage to ask her to try it before she could run off.

It took me a little bit of convincing, she probably detested the entire place, but I finally got her inside. She nearly tore the arm off the maitre d' when he tried to take her coat though, and I don't think he liked it when I apologized to her instead of him. But after a while we were finally seated, and we were trying to decide what to eat. I definitely should have asked Rinoa what was good there first though, their entire menu was in a different language. And she looked absolutely appalled by most the stuff on it, not that I've even tried half of it. I mean, Adamantoise eggs, really?

I honestly did try to make a bit of small talk while we were deciding though, so I wasn't completely hopeless. In the end, we just chose the house special, a good wine, and some breadsticks. I wasn't really that hungry anyway, and she still looked so tense. Nothing I was doing seemed to help though, the entire time her lips were pursed, her eyebrows were furrowed… She hated it, I know she did. But we made it through the wait, and all I had to do was talk constantly about absolutely nothing. I think I went on about everything from how those Bite Bugs in the Training Center seemed to tear every one of my good blouses, to Ma Dincht's home cooking.

I didn't really know what I was doing, but looking back on it, it was completely embarrassing. The food was great though, a bit of noodles and stir fry, mixed with some lemon marinated shrimp, and glazed with this magnificent orange sauce… What? Okay, fine, I won't bring it up again… Yes, I do know how good the Garden's cooking is.

Now, where was I? Right. So we had got our food, and thankfully I got the chance to stop running my mouth. I might have taken it a bit heavy on the wine though, and I don't think she ever touched hers. But the entire night, I don't think she ever said more than two words. She must have just been putting up with me out of pity or something.

The rest of the night went by very slowly, just me talking about anything I could think of while we ate. I really made a fool out of myself the entire time, but she just sat there and listened. Sometime or another she even stopped glaring at things, I think she might have even loosened up. That's a good sign, right?

Anyway, the entire thing turned out like a sham. Nothing happened, you know? I just felt like when we really got together, we'd just click. We'd be able to talk, and laugh, and just be us. I guess that went about as good as I should have expected though, right? She probably hates me now, or at least pities me. I guess I can say at least I tried.

Oh well… I'm just going to go back to watching her from a distance, I'd be hopeless as a girlfriend anyway. I have stuff to grade anyway, things to do.

Yep, busy, busy. No time on my hands.

Hmm…? No, thank you though. I really should be getting to sleep anyway, and I'm sure there are other people who could use some counseling.

Alright. Goodnight, and… Thanks. For listening, that is.


End file.
